09. ...And ROLLING
After flunking once and with an aggregate on the lower side of 75 , I knew there was no way I could get into GTech. And the way things seemed to go , it dint look like I wud ever make it to any decent graduate school . My dream since the 6th grade , was no-where near to coming true .... femanoids will never be made , what a great loss to hu-MAN-ity ?!!
But it wasnt just about getting into GTech , it was about the present .
The same ppl who blamed the system {...and rightly so..} for being unfair , considered the univ exams as a standard to measure intelligence .
At home , folks stopped asking for explanations, after I stopped giving them the same . I dint expect them to understand the situation . But it was sure that they wished I'd joined defence and carried on the family trend , and not tried new things with life that dint work out . They never complained , but it was understood that they dint have any major hopes from their son .
Initially it bothered me , but later I became numb to such feelings . I really dint care wat people tgt about me now .
And this 'Dont-care' feeling extended to almost everything ....
It made no sense to spend 2hrs copying LakshipatiNarayanan's ( or Krishnan or wateva the guys name was ..) assignments that had no creativity. And being creative with assignments was not only not appreciated , but also decried . Now I was obviously not going to copy LK's assignments even if it meant losing 20 marks {out of 1200 !! }.There were things I could do and things I couldn't . And clearly this fell in the latter category.
The same happened in the internal tests, where one was meant to cram the notes given by the prof. {in his version of english} and then reproduce them in the tests . HA !! and they tgt I was going to do that. Besides when u sit in the last bench and are caught either sleeping or singing or reading every single day ,u manage to leave a very GOOD impression !!
But atleast I somehow managed to pass in the internals . Thats all I wanted . With time expectations had gone down , and i would be satisfied if I passed without any drama !
That too was going to come to an end . The university started alloting marks for attendance .... things like these really tickle my funny bone and I couldn't stop laughing . Now there was no chance that I was going to get the min. marks in internals !!
And considering that my essays were evaluated by some sex-deprived man or raped-under-marriage female , who was waiting to vent out his/her hate somewhere .... the odds of me getting a decent score in externals was equivalent to the reciprocal of the no. of times Pam Anderson got scored !!
This meant that I could keep flunking , over and over again .
GTech was way out of the league. No University would take me , if they called my transcripts as "credentials" .
I needed a miracle to get a job !!
Infact it would be a big deal if I even graduated within four years !!
What happened , what went wrong , where did I muck up ?
I was Sameer Khanna .... President of the Science club , Captain of RedHouse , Editor of the school mag , a top rank holder throughout my schooling !!
And here I was hoping I would get an engineering degree from what I considered to be one of the world's worse engineering colleges .
I was almost detained for low attendance , I could have been expelled for ragging , I'd flunked in my favorite subject , I'd lost my friends for either being funny or to insanity !!
WHY ?!
But it wasnt just about getting into GTech , it was about the present .
The same ppl who blamed the system {...and rightly so..} for being unfair , considered the univ exams as a standard to measure intelligence .
At home , folks stopped asking for explanations, after I stopped giving them the same . I dint expect them to understand the situation . But it was sure that they wished I'd joined defence and carried on the family trend , and not tried new things with life that dint work out . They never complained , but it was understood that they dint have any major hopes from their son .
Initially it bothered me , but later I became numb to such feelings . I really dint care wat people tgt about me now .
And this 'Dont-care' feeling extended to almost everything ....
It made no sense to spend 2hrs copying LakshipatiNarayanan's ( or Krishnan or wateva the guys name was ..) assignments that had no creativity. And being creative with assignments was not only not appreciated , but also decried . Now I was obviously not going to copy LK's assignments even if it meant losing 20 marks {out of 1200 !! }.There were things I could do and things I couldn't . And clearly this fell in the latter category.
The same happened in the internal tests, where one was meant to cram the notes given by the prof. {in his version of english} and then reproduce them in the tests . HA !! and they tgt I was going to do that. Besides when u sit in the last bench and are caught either sleeping or singing or reading every single day ,u manage to leave a very GOOD impression !!
But atleast I somehow managed to pass in the internals . Thats all I wanted . With time expectations had gone down , and i would be satisfied if I passed without any drama !
That too was going to come to an end . The university started alloting marks for attendance .... things like these really tickle my funny bone and I couldn't stop laughing . Now there was no chance that I was going to get the min. marks in internals !!
And considering that my essays were evaluated by some sex-deprived man or raped-under-marriage female , who was waiting to vent out his/her hate somewhere .... the odds of me getting a decent score in externals was equivalent to the reciprocal of the no. of times Pam Anderson got scored !!
This meant that I could keep flunking , over and over again .
GTech was way out of the league. No University would take me , if they called my transcripts as "credentials" .
I needed a miracle to get a job !!
Infact it would be a big deal if I even graduated within four years !!
What happened , what went wrong , where did I muck up ?
I was Sameer Khanna .... President of the Science club , Captain of RedHouse , Editor of the school mag , a top rank holder throughout my schooling !!
And here I was hoping I would get an engineering degree from what I considered to be one of the world's worse engineering colleges .
I was almost detained for low attendance , I could have been expelled for ragging , I'd flunked in my favorite subject , I'd lost my friends for either being funny or to insanity !!
WHY ?!
posted by scoffes at 10:46 PM
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